shiuan's blog

Do you ever feel tired of dating? Like, you just have too many things on your plate to deal with going on dates? (We are in New York City after all). I mean, dating is really a part-time job, at minimum. I need a secretary to schedule my dates for me in the first place.

If I had a dating secretary, this is what  I'd have her do: 

Some of you may have saw my email I just sent out for Speed Dating for the Asian American International Film Festival fundraiser event (sorry for the long title). Speed dating is such an interesting phenomenon because it is a very structured singles social event. Compared to the usual mingling/networking/clubbing event every minute of the two hours is structured. Some people like that and others hate it. Some prefer the structure or are at least open-minded to trying something different, while others think it's lame and overdone.

I just moved into a new apartment, which is not that new and pretty typical of me actually (to be moving again) except that this is the first time I'm living by myself. It's a huge one-bedroom apartment, including a foyer and an eat-in-kitchen and another living room. Last week I walked around subconsciously feeling like it wasn't really my apartment---just someone else's place I was staying in. And now over the weekend it's been a whirlwind of running around trying to get things set up in here.

Just wanted to say a big shout-out thank you to everyone who's been reading (and commenting). The numbers have been increasing and it's very inspiring. Thank you.

I actually wrote this a couple days ago (on my morning commute) but didn't get to sit down and edit it until now. So here it is:

I think through the process of dating you really end up learning about yourself in the end more than the people you are dating. You learn what you are willing to put up with and what you firmly are not. You learn how much space you like or need to have. You learn if you need to be friends with your partner's friends or you don't care. You learn how much in common you would like to have with the other person. Or maybe you discover you don't need to have everything in common, just share the same values. 

Hi all,

Sorry about the lack of comments on here. I just figured it out---and have approved everyone's comments (and deleted lots of spam) from the last several months since this site started in January.  Thank you for your thoughts-- whether I agree with them or not. I think encouraging open discussion is most important in learning and opening up our minds. Thanks for reading.

 I just received an email this morning from a (non-disclosed) online dating service. I am now considered to be in the top half of the "more attractive" members of their dating pool and I will now see "more attractive" people in my searches and "be shown" to more attractive people. Are they for real?? What if I don't want to date "attractive" types? And what are they basing their "attractiveness" rate on anyways? An average of what everyone rated? What if what I consider to be attractive is not what most consider attractive?

 Online dating  is such a funny phenomenon of this 21st century. There are sites now with almost 30,000 members from all over the country. There are free sites and $30/month sites. Jewish, Asian, African American… you name it, you got it. A little scary if you think about it. Makes me think of Gattaca with Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke where they could choose exactly what qualities they wanted and didn’t want in their babies. I’ve often thought about that recently actually.

 I have had many conversations with other Asian Americans about dating another Asian person or opting for dating non-Asians altogether. I have heard things from all ranges of the spectrum from: "Dating an Asian guy feels like I'm dating one of my cousins." Or "I'm just not attracted to Asians." Or other stereotypical lines that sound strangely fed to us from the outside racist society regurgitated through our own mouths.